Good morning and happy Monday to you all. We’re already up against another holiday weekend. Hopefully you submitted that PTO request for Friday about two months ago and stacked up a couple of short weeks for yourself.
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That said, let’s get to it.
**IMPORTANT MMPD BULLETIN**
Due to America’s birthday, the MMPD will take a brief hiatus next week and will return on July 11.
Absurdly American Thing of the Week
Lex Luger body slams Yokozuna in a USA polo, jeans and cowboy boots on the deck of the USS Intrepid.
Fourth of July BBQ Menu
Burgers
I’m a burger purist. Give me some 80/20 ground chuck, salt, pepper and a touch of garlic powder, I’m a happy man. Where I do draw the line are idiotic viral food hacks like stuffing a burger with an ice cube to make the patties juicy. Newsflash: fat is the only thing that makes a burger juicy. High heat. Five minutes a side. Rest for 10 minutes. Top it with the most processed yellow American cheese you can buy, top it with iceberg lettuce, tomato, pickles, ketchup and mustard.
Earl Campbells Hot Links
Hot dogs are fine, but there’s nothing like the bite of a blistered and charred hot link.
Ribs
Just look up “Malcolm Reed ribs” on YouTube and do one of those masterpieces.
Twice Baked Potato Salad
6 Russet potatoes (boiled, lightly smashed)
1 cup sour cream
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1 tbsp bacon grease (optional)
1 package shredded sharp cheddar
Your favorite BBQ rub
Salt & Pepper
Combine and mix. Chill overnight. Serves 6-8 folks.
Banana & Peanut Butter Pudding Pie
2 packages of banana pudding mix
4 cups of whole milk (2% is for quitters)
4 tbsp peanut butter
1 tbsp cinnamon
1 tsp nutmeg
10 Nutter Butter cookies
Stir pudding mix, milk, peanut butter, cinnamon and nutmeg until it starts to firm up. Refrigerate one hour. Crush up Nutter Butters. Top pudding with cookies. Serve.
Clutch Seasonal Trader Joe’s Buy of the Week
Dill pickle mustard. I put it on goddamn everything. Thank me later.
Creepy and Cool Thing of The Week
Liminal spaces is a VERY niche corner of the internet that’s well known to people who are very online. There’s a world of lore and backstory about liminal spaces and “back rooms” that is extremely odd. I’m obsessed. Looking at photos of liminal spaces invokes an odd feeling of comfort and extreme vulnerability. I love it.
Zillow House That Would Financially Ruin Me of the Week
The allure of my very own deactivated missile silo grows more and more attractive with each passing week.
Real Guy Quote of the Week
"I wonder what it would be like to live in a world where it was always June." —L.M. Montgomery
You and me both, buddy.
That’s it for this week. Go get ‘em.
If you run across an active silo home hmu. Conventional ICBMs preferred